Idiot & Co meets
by Project D-A-R-A-X
Summary: An idiot in charge of a spaceship and crew get themselves mixed up in the world of Tenchi Muyo! Chpt. 4 up!
1. Prelude to insanity

Disclaimer: I don't own the stuff that I didn't create, don't sue me, I'm stupid. Authors Note: This is done in the script/play format because I've been attempting for a LONG time to type something good, and quite frankly, I don't feel like typing all the quotation marks anymore.  
  
Somewhere within the deep recesses of space... there is a warship under the command of a total and complete idiot. That ship is the U.S.S Ugamaki. That place within space is here. That idiot is :  
  
======== =======================: \\ \\ // // ====================: \\ \\ // //___________ \\ \/ // // // || * || // // || * || //= // || * || // \\ =========== ||___*__ || =====Uki // \\ Imaru  
  
  
  
( A large black ship hovers in the earths atmosphere, its surface rather shiny and reflective, as if made of extremely clean steel, or a mirror of some sort. Along either side are several plasma cannon turrets. In the center forward part of the ship there is a rather large ruby pad with about a 13 foot radius that is obviously a large beam generator of some sort. Inside would be Yuki Kimaru, asleep with his head upon his desk, still wearing his favorite tan shirt and blue jean jacket. Behind him, the reckless battle tactician Kazuka stands, long pale white hair flowing down to the small of hey back, light green eyes scanning over Yuki. in one hand she held her infamous " BAKA PAN ")  
  
Kazuka: (cooing softly, leaning down to whisper into Yuki's ear) Oh Yuki baby... wake up... ugh.. hey...are you alive? (She lifts a brow and twitches in disgust as Yuki refuses to awaken) Oaf....  
  
@*$# BAM!!! @(%*  
  
Yuki: (awakes with a start and scream of pain as the BAKA PAN smashes the back of his head.) PAIN! HURT! OWWIES! AWAKE!!!  
  
Kazuka: (She giggles slightly and hides the pan behind her back) wakey wakey Yuki.  
  
Yuki: (He wastes no time, and reaches for his laser pistol. However he finds a water gun, though he can't actually tell the difference because he doesn't read the words that say "Water Gun" along the side. But still he holds the gun under Kazuki's chin) What was that for?!  
  
Kazuki: (Notes that the weapon is in fact a squirt gun and slowly removes the pan from behind her back) Do I have to kill you?  
  
~~~ Two Hours Later~~~  
  
(Yuki walks into the main deck with a sigh, and brushes strands of green hair from his eyes as he drops down into his seat. The rather large lump on his head is covered by bandages. He looks to his crew slowly at their work stations, working furiously, which was an odd thing for such a lazy group) Yuki: Hey guys.. what's up?  
  
Zakie: (a boy with a blood red headband and brown hair turns his head to look at Yuki, his head tilts to the side) There you are, you've been asleep for... uh..umm..  
  
Brooke: (Sitting not far from her station, she looks up at Zakie and shakes her head) 3 days now. (Brooke wears dark forest green, and has black eyes and black hair. Her pale skin gives her a frightening look, though if you overlook her pyrokinesis, she's harmless)  
  
Kazuka: (She chuckles slightly, leaning against a wall.) Would have been longer, had I not helped out.  
  
(One thing that should be noted before moving further is that 75% of the group has abnormally long ears. Kazuka and Yuki had extremely long elf like ears, and Brooke's ears were slightly elongated and pointed. Zakie, on the other hand, has normal ears)  
  
Brooke: (Glances at Yuki before clearing her throat) Anyway... I had Kazuka wake you because we are getting high energy readings from the Earth... We need to know if we should investigate it.  
  
Yuki: (stands and removes his now located laser pistol, twirling it upon one finger) Why not? I could use some exc--agh whoops! (His gun slips off of his finger and hits the ground, sending a shower of energy beams through the main deck of the ship)  
  
Others: (charred by beams) Yuuuuukkkiiiiiiiii.....  
  
~~Meanwhile, on Earth~~~  
  
(The energy disturbance was in a wooded area...--or previously wooded area, now it is nothing more than cinders that once were woods-- outside the Masaki residence, in Japan. Apparently, it was yet another of those earth shaking battles Ryoko and Ayeka have so very often. And over, yep, you guessed it, poor tugged-of-war Tenchi, even though he currently wasn't even around them, because He, Sasami, and Ryo-Ohki were sitting outside the radius of battle, watching now almost bored.)  
  
Sasami: (She glances at Tenchi) How much longer do you think they can keep it up?  
  
Tenchi: (He glances back down at Sasami, then back up to the fight, and scratches the back of his head with an innocent chuckle) Honestly I don't know. How long do you think before they'll start it again after they end this one?  
  
Sasami: (She picks Ryo-Ohki up and sets the cabbit upon her head) Not long... just enough time to catch their breath and eat, I suppose.  
  
(Just then Kiyone and Mihoshi walk into the new clearing and sit beside the other three.)  
  
Kiyone: (sighs) They don't know when to quit.  
  
Mihoshi: (She gazed at the battle and then at Kiyone, then back to the battle, tilting her head and giving that ditzy, dazed expression)  
  
(Inside the sphere of the battle area though it was quite different from a peaceful spectator sport, as Ryoko and Ayeka were locked in that oh so furious battle that they were always going on)  
  
Ayeka: (She runs at Ryoko, Juraian logs appearing around her form in an offensive pattern) Now you will die Ryoko! (grits her teeth preparing for Ryoko's imminent counter, knowing it will hurt alot, but pretty sure she will win this time)  
  
Ryoko: (She also darts at her opponent, beam sword flared in her left hand, raised to strike.) We'll see about that princess, I think your gonna die! ( She is also fairly sure she will win this encounter.)  
  
Tenchi: (He leans back) Here it comes...  
  
Kiyone: Yeah... (turns her head to look at Tenchi) it always ends about like this.  
  
(A white beam suddenly cuts the sky and falls between the two enraged women, the explosion of it knocking both of them back a bit, clouds of dust and ash sent up everywhere as the destructive teleporter launched the crew of the Ugamaki into the fray)  
  
Zakie: (coughs and waves away the sand, trying to see and breath) Ack, Brooke! I told you the transporter was working wrong!!  
  
Yuki: (Also finds himself gagging on all the dust, eyes watering with sand grains)  
  
Kazuka/Brooke: (both women were smart enough to shield their faces and as the dust cleared they both exchange a silent grin)  
  
Yuki: (Still rubbing some sand from one eye) Ack... where are we Brooke?  
  
Brooke: (She looked about at all the burnt tree stumps and the piles of ashes) A warzone, I would think.  
  
(The group really weren't paying attention to what was going on around them, well, most of them weren't. As a crimson beam shot past Yuki's face, attempting to hit Ayeka on the other side of the group, who was rather stunned from being blasted back, and was stumbling to her feet.)  
  
Yuki: Tha' hell? (He draws his pistol and ducks down firing an upward angle from there and hitting the beam at that angle, causing it to explode before hitting Ayeka)  
  
Ryoko: (She dashes over and grabs a hold of Yuki's shirt and begins to shake him violently) You moron what'd you do that for!!  
  
Yuki: (being shook around like a rag doll, has little X's over his eyes. He drops his gun in the sudden assault on his person and it discharges when hitting the ground, frying his group yet again, who all proceed to beat on him along with Ryoko)  
  
Kiyone: (She leans over to whisper to Tenchi) Who's the punching bag?  
  
Tenchi: (Whispers back) No idea.  
  
Ayeka: (Her Juraian logs suddenly appear about the group that was pummeling Yuki in the ground and zaps the royal shi-- err.... zaps them away) Stop that! Leave him alone! (She walks over to Yuki and bows graciously to him) I thank you, kind sir, for helping prevent that monster woman from harming me. Not as though she could, but, I still thank you.  
  
Yuki: Owwies... Owwies.... Owwies... Owwies... (struggles to his feet) Owwies... Owwies... (Now grabs a hold of Ryoko's shirt collar and begins yelling in her face) OWWIES! OWWIES! OW--(And Ryoko would punch him in the stomach) OOF ac....Ow...wies....(falls back down)  
  
Ryoko: (Looks down at Yuki) What a moron...(nudges him with her foot. Then kicks him when he tries to twist her ankle)  
  
Ayeka: Miss Ryoko stop harming that man! He might have something important to say or tell. You don't go beating up strangers!  
  
Brooke: (mutters) Actually, he never has anything important to say. Kick the crap out of him. He deserves it.  
  
Kazuka: (Bends down to stick her tongue out at Yuki, not inches away from his face, taunting him)  
  
Yuki: (grabs a hold of Kazuka's tongue and pulls it, the result would be the BAKA PAN being drawn and smacking him over the skull)  
  
Sasami: (Tilts her head to the side) Wow they really don't like that one in the middle.  
  
Tenchi: Yeah. I think he's gonna have a concussion from that frying pan.  
  
Kiyone: Or at least a really nasty head wound.  
  
Yuki: (At this point, with only Ayeka not kicking the stuffings out of him, he begins to crawl along the ground trying to get away, when his hand touches his dropped gun. A grin spread over his face and he turned over on his back, aiming the gun up and firing into Ryoko's face, then Kazuka and then Brooke and THEN Zakie) Back beasts..back I say!!  
  
Ayeka: (She watches curiously as all of them are blown back by the weapon. Even Ryoko was knocked flat by the shot.) Hmmm... I wonder....  
  
Ryoko: ( She fell back as the plasma blast charred her face, landing with a thud on her back, thinking to herself) *Wow... pretty tough kid...Hmmm... maybe I could.....hmm..hmm...* (begins to giggle and then laugh maniacally, not even bothering to get up)  
  
Kazuka:(stands slowly) Yuki I'm going to rip your scalp off of your skull!!  
  
~~~Later that afternoon~~~  
  
( Tenchi was walking along the path home with one of those rather large baskets of carrots upon his back, talking to Yuki who was beside him, hands folded behind his head.)  
  
Tenchi: Yeah... they are pretty destructive. Kind of odd to think that they caused enough energy from that scuffle to draw attention from space.  
  
Yuki: Scuffle??  
  
Tenchi: Yeah. You should see it when they are really mad. (closes his eyes, thinking about that for a moment)  
  
Yuki Oh, I se--a woah (Suddenly yanked into bushes, pulled aside while Tenchi wasn't paying any attention)  
  
Ryoko: (Was on the other side of the bushes, and would catch a hold of his arm and whisper) Hey there Yuki.. can I ask you a favor? (eyes begin to get fake tears) You see that beast girl Ayeka is trying to take away my Tenchi, could you help me kill her, please?  
  
Yuki: (sweatdrop) Uh... eh..  
  
Ayeka: (From the bushes suddenly grabs Yuki's other arm and yanks on him, basically allowing the poor boy to feel Tenchi's every day torture) No, because he is going to help ME kill YOU, aren't you Yuki? Are you gonna side with me or some space criminal?  
  
Yuki: (being pulled apart) Ack.. I.. oww.. lemme go both of you (struggles)  
  
Ryoko: (Ignoring Yuki's writhing, arguing with Ayeka) Yuki is originally a space traveler and fighter, he's going to side with ME.(gives a sharp tug) He wouldn't help some stupid up lil' princess ANYWAY would you Yuki?  
  
Ayeka: Stupid little princess? He would most certainly side with the princess of Jurai, wouldn't you Yuki? (Tugs back, also ignoring Yuki) And anyway, you tried to smash his skull in, he's going to help ME!  
  
Tenchi: (notes Yuki's disappearance and looks about for him, his head popping into the bushy area that Yuki was being argued over) Hey Yuki where'd ya--- (Blinks as he looks upon the scene, nodding slowly, not asking any questions, his own ideas forming in head as he had been in that unfortunate position many times before) Okay... good luck with 'em Yuki... (turns and walks off)  
  
Ayeka/Ryoko: (Both freeze and begin to chase after Tenchi) Tenchi no wait! It's not like--! (both pause with a sigh as the emerge onto the path and Tenchi is gone)  
  
Ryoko: (glares at Ayeka) This is YOUR fault.  
  
Ayeka: (Balls up a fist at Ryoko) MY fault? Your the one that started tugging on Yuki like a rag doll!  
  
Ryoko: What?! (forms fists as well) Your the one that started it! I was just talking to him!  
  
Ayeka/Ryoko: Grrrrr....  
  
Yuki: ( Begins walking down the path again) Riiight... well I'll just leave you ladies alone now...  
  
~~~~~END CHAPTER 


	2. Proof of moron

Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo! is (C) someone... Yuki Kimaru, Kazuka, Zakie, Brooke, and the U.S.S. Ugamaki are (C) me. Yeah, that's about it...  
  
Authors note: Gomen all ~,~; I didn't know the symbols would screw up like that, it was supposed to say Yuki Kimaru. Also I am wantin' to cameo someone! I dunno why, I just want some other authors char in here, I guess it'll make me feel more important. So.... if anyone wants to suggest or perhaps volunteer a character, I'd love it. Thanks!  
  
  
  
~~~Late that evening~~~  
  
Brooke: (She leans over Yuki and begins to yell rather loudly, her voice echoing throughout the Masaki home and drawing everyone's attention) WHADDA YA MEAN YOU LOST THE TRANSPORTER CONTROL!!  
  
Yuki: (twitches, ears ringing.) Just what I said! (afraid Brooke would yell again he tries to think of a way to distract her from the current problem... unfortunately his immature mind could make on an immature answer.....)  
  
Brooke: (And as Yuki pokes her in the breast she would stop mid yell and blink, glowering with anger, but not yelling anymore) Yuki Kimaru... I...Am...Going....To....Rip....Your finger... From your hand. (She extends both her hands and holds them out, facing each other, fingers curled a little, A ball of fire beginning to form in between her palms)  
  
Yuki: Uh-oh... (hops from his seat and begins to run)  
  
Brooke: (her eyes were glowing bright red) DIE YUKI!!!!! (She hurls the ball of flame at him and connects right in the center of his back, causing him to explode in fire and then fall down, charred to a crisp)  
  
Yuki: (coughs) not as bad as I thought it would be... Ugh...ack...oof!  
  
Brooke: (proceeds to tread over Yuki's spine repeatedly)  
  
Tenchi: (glances around the door to look at the scene.) What tha' ? What did he do now?  
  
Kazuka: (Looks around the other edge of the door) Poked Brooke in in breast to distract her very loud yelling. It's nothing new.  
  
Tenchi: (Raises a brow slowly, a sweatdrop forming)  
  
Kazuka: Just smile and nod, it's totally normal.  
  
Brooke: (sits on Yuki's back while he is down, and proceeds to beat him over the back of the head with a small table) HOW *Bam!* COULD *Bam* YOU *Bam!* LOSE *Bam!* OUR *Bam!* WAY *Bam!* BACK!??  
  
Kazuka:(Upon hearing this walks into the room and sits on the floor not far from Brooke and the poor form of Yuki) He lost the transporter control again?  
  
Brooke: (Looks over at Kazuka and says flatly in a huff of anger at Yuki's stupidity) Yes! We're stranded here for god knows HOW long.  
  
Yuki: (Near dead right about now) I didn't lose it! I gave it to Brooke to FIX!  
  
Brooke: Yes.. (Hits him with the table again) then I FIXED it and put it on your table.  
  
Yuki: (Glares over at Kazuka) Well I couldn't see it because I stumbled out of my room in a hazy CONCUSSION!  
  
Kazuka: (Takes out her BAKA PAN and taps it upon her other palm lightly) Are you saying its my fault? You were well enough conscious to bandage your wound.  
  
Yuki: (Sees the BAKA PAN and faints)  
  
Tenchi: (still watching, he does his best to smile and tries to nod as if he understood it as he walked away.)  
  
Zakie: (Walks in with a yawn) Getting kind of late you guys, don't you think we should get going?  
  
Brooke/Kazuka: Yuki lost the transporter control.  
  
Zakie: Again?  
  
Yuki: Help... me... X_X  
  
Brooke: So, what are we gonna do about this?  
  
Ryoko: (Sort of phases up from the floor, ya guys know that irritating thing she does that I'm talking about) I could escort you people back to your ship on Ryo-Ohki, if You will get Yuki to help me kill Ayeka...  
  
Ayeka: (Standing in the door. she giggles at Ryoko's poor attempt to 'hire' Yuki, or get one of the others to make him) Would you trust that devil woman? If Yuki helps ME kill that woman then I will talk to Kiyone and Mihoshi about allowing passage through their ship. It is a galaxy police ship, so it would be assurably safe, as opposed to miss Ryoko's monster... ship thing.  
  
Kiyone: ( Had strangely enough walked up while Ayeka was talking, and was now right behind her) Someone need a ride on my ship?  
  
Brooke: (Stands and walks over to Kiyone and nods) Yes, could we? Yuki lost our transporter controller.  
  
Ayeka: (blinks) But wait, what about Yuki helping me kill Ryoko?  
  
Kazuka: (picks Yuki up by his hair and drags him across the floor to where Brooke and Kiyone were) Sorry, Yuki isn't a mercenary or anything of the sort.  
  
Ryoko/Ayeka: But... but...  
  
Kiyone: (blinks, tilting her head to the side for a moment) Yeah. I'll give you guys a ride.  
  
Brooke: Thank you miss Kiyone. I'm REALLY sorry that Yuki is stupid.  
  
Kiyone: Riiiiiight....  
  
END CHAPTER~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	3. No need for spaceships!

Disclaimer: I'm thirteen, do you really think I'm gonna own jack !@#%? Thought so.  
  
  
  
Aboard the Yagami~~~~  
  
(The ship known as the Yagami, carrying Yuki, Kazuka, Brooke, Zakie, and well duh Kiyone had just attached to one of the hull airlocks with a... um.... extendo.... bridge thingy. ^_^; and Kiyone was showing them off her ship, a bit happily, as they had nearly blown it up when Yuki asked what " That button did ", and then had found out. Kiyone had noted upon the ride up that their ship seemed familiar to her, within her mind of course, her mouth was too busy yelling at Yuki to have said that much. )  
  
Kiyone: Well, goodbye, see you again some time... ( a glare at Yuki) or maybe not? (Shuts the airlock on them before they can respond however, and she gives a sigh of relief after walking back through her ship to sink down into her chair.) Hmm... that's really odd...I could swear I've seen that ship before... I guess I'll take another look. (Flips the main monitor onto the Ugamaki. It did seem quite familiar to her. As the power came onto the ship she got quite an odd surprise as one of the beam cannon turrets turned and fired on the Yagami) Tha' hell?  
  
(Upon the screen A transmission from the other ship would fade in, Yuki upon the screen, attempting to keep Kazuka's hands off his neck)  
  
Yuki: Kiyone what tha' hell's going on?  
  
Kiyone: (cringes as her ship shudders under the blast) Well your FIRING on me!  
  
Yuki: We didn't do anything! Honest! It just started when we turned it on!  
  
Kazuka: You're LYING! You did this somehow!! I'm gonna rip your throat out Yuki!  
  
Zakie( o/s): You guys... we've got a problem....  
  
(The Ugamaki suddenly shot forward and slammed into the front of the Yagami, its spire like spikes driving into the ships hull and locking them together.)  
  
Kiyone: (She is thrown forward and actually out of her seat as her ship would buck wildly under the impact. She does her best to resume her composure)  
  
Brooke:(off screen):The beam cannons energy is rising!!  
  
Yuki:(still struggling with Kazuka, he kicks her in the face and knocks her off) What? That isn't good.  
  
Kiyone: What? What isn't good?!  
  
Yuki: That beam cannon will destroy her ship, and the explosion will kill us all!  
  
Zakie:(o/s) If we can crash the ship into the earth before it fires, we may be able to knock the beam cannon out of place.  
  
Yuki: Maybe.. We'll just have to try. Zakie, log in the crash course coordinates.  
  
Zakie(o/s): Got it.  
  
Kiyone: Wait, so your gonna crash both the ships?  
  
Yuki: Got a problem with it?  
  
Kiyone: YEAH!!  
  
Yuki: We could just explode in space.. ACK!! (Gets up out of his seat and runs from Kazuka)  
  
Brooke:(o/s) 15% energy....  
  
Zakie: We're entering earths atmosphere...  
  
(Everyone seemed to freeze, even Kazuka stopping mid punch under the pressure of the moment. Kiyone crossed her fingers slowly.)  
  
Kiyone: Hey.. wait a minute! My ship isn't going to be on bottom of this! (Taps something into the controls, all her leftward thrusters firing up and causing the ships to spin in position, her thrusters now carrying them down to the earth)  
  
Upon Earth~~~  
  
Tenchi: (Looks up from wherever the crap he currently was, noting the bright scar across the sky that was the two ships reentering the atmosphere.) Hey...what tha heck... is that thing?  
  
(slowly drawing closer, poor Tenchi staring at it until the last minute where he attempted to run right as it hit the ground, the earth-shattering BOOM accompanied by flying debris and such actually throwing him through the door)  
  
Ryoko: (Peeks her head out the door to see the two ships smoking and actually aflame in some places, occupants from either side ) Uh-oh...  
  
Tenchi: (steps back out the door and then steps aside as the five people trudge inside angrily) I take it you'll be staying a while longer, Yuki?  
  
(No one said anything for a good long minute or so inside, until Kiyone broke the silence.)  
  
Kiyone: Ah-ha! I remember NOW! That ship has an automated feature to destroy Galaxy Police ships! If I recall correctly about a hundred years ago it destroyed an entire GP space station. It's a wonder you could come across such a criminal.  
  
Yuki: The ship itself was criminal?  
  
Kazuka: (Hits Yuki rather hard in the back of the head) That's what she said stupid.  
  
Yuki: Well.. at least it can't get worse....  
  
(Then a beam cuts the air outside as a certain beam cannon shot through a certain ship)  
  
Kiyone: Was...that...?  
  
Zakie: Yep.  
  
(The entire house is engulfed in a bright light as both ships exploded, the side of the house facing it being disintegrated in the process.)  
  
Yuki: (Jaw drops as the wall disappears, he immediately begins to search for a place to hide from the angry people, and somehow gets himself into Washu's lab. Apparently... Mihoshi wasn't the only one with the skill to pop up out of nowhere, because that sure as hell is what Yuki did, and latched onto Washu's ankle like a sandbag) Please don't let 'em find me please please please!!!  
  
Washu:What tha? Get off me! (Blinks at Yuki and tries to shake him off, failing though and being thrown off balance and falling against a machine, breaking it.)  
  
Yuki: (gets puppy like eyes ) They'll skin me alive and then.. um.. kill me!!  
  
Washu: GET OUT OF HERE!!  
  
Yuki: (scurries off before Washu gets the chance to hurt him)  
  
Everyone else: (Listening to the angry yelling from within the used to be broom closet)  
  
Kazuka: Yuki is gonna get his face slapped off if he comes out here... (Hefts a table over her head and positions herself over the door)  
  
Brooke: (Prepares a fireball and waits on the other side.)  
  
Tenchi: You guys just like beating on him, don't you?  
  
Kazuka: (nods and then smashes the table down as the door opens... however instead of hitting Yuki, she clonked Washu over the head with the table, and before that could be noticed, the heap of scientist and table was lit aflame thanks to Brooke.)  
  
Yuki: (standing in the doorway, snickering) You guys are in trouble now...  
  
Kazuka:( Instead of worrying about Washu she grabs Yuki's neck) DIE!!!!  
  
Tenchi: (Does his best to form a smile and nods slowly while walking away)  
  
Washi: Ugh...ow.....medic? Please...?  
  
End Chapter~~~~~~~~~~ 


	4. The group grows!

Disclaimer: Whoever the hell owns Tenchi Muyo is a rich bastard, because SOMEONE has to be makin' money off that cool show. However that someone is not me, nor do I claim it to be me. Don't sue me. Sue the rich bastard. He made me do it. Honest.  
  
Authors' Note: It's been a long while, hasn't it? I'm really sorry to everyone who enjoys this fic that I have kept you waiting so long. Between family trips, computer crashes, back-to-school work, writers' block, and laziness, I havn't been able to post any new chapters in months! Well, fear no more, I wasn't assassinated, or kidnapped, or.. anything else like that. And hopefully more chapters will flow in with my renewed determination to write. Thank you for your all your good reviews, I'm really glad that you like my fic! Okay, if you're still reading, I'm done with my part of this. Now to the funny part in....  
  
Idiot and Company meets "Tenchi Muyo" chapter 4! 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... 0!!!  
  
(Day four of the guests stay at the Masaki residence, and, it would seem that Yuki's luck is now looking up, because his wounds are healing, and not a soul is around to keep him from watching the Television, an episode of Ranma 1/2, to be exact.)  
  
Yuki: Teeee..Veeee...(Eyes bloodshot, with black circles beneath them, it's clear to anyone that he's been watching the T.V. for a looooong time. His eyes snap away from the screen and to the door as it opens and Tenchi walks in.) Tenchi: Hey Yuki. Woah, how'd you get all the girls to let you watch T.V.?  
  
Yuki: (His eyes move back to the screen and he speaks with a yawn.) Persuasive power over women. Tenchi: o_o; right. (Sits down beside Yuki) Hey, since you're about to fall asleep anyway, d'you mind if I watch something? I havn't been able to get a decent thirty minutes of television time in months. Yuki: (Glares) You... want... T.V.? YOU... want... T.V.?! Tenchi: ...Y-yeah...  
  
(The door to a darkened room swings open, and a bound and gagged Tenchi is thrown in roughly, landing upon other tied and squirming bodies, which he found to be Ayeka, Washu, Ryoko, Kazuka, Mihoshi, Kiyone, Sasami, Brooke, and Zakie.) Yuki: (Dusts off his hands) There we go. (Closes the door and trots back downstairs to watch more television)  
  
(A good four hours later, a rather unhappy crowd trudges down the stairs and into the living room of the home, where there is no longer any furniture, or T.V., just Yuki sitting on the floor, infront of the warm glow of a computer screen. Ryoko was the first to lash out, by grabbing Yuki's hair and yanking him off the floor.) Ryoko: YUKI! TIME TO DI-- Huh? (Glances about.) Where is... everything?! Yuki: I sold all the furniture and the T.V. to get this sweet computer, and a DSL cable connection to the internet, fastest on the market, with a 6 P processor and a-- Ryoko: You sold the T.V.!? (Throws Yuki down, causing him to land upon the computer, the fancy-pants machine exploding in a fireball and charring poor Yuki.) Yuki: (Glances around at the angry mob) Um... Hi, guys? Kazuka: *KA-SMACK*KA-CLANG*KA-OUCH* (Three more head shaped dents in a certain pan) Yuki: (Grits his teeth).... OWWW!! (Brooke lights Yuki's hair on fire, causing him to--obviously--stop, drop, and roll. However he rolled right within stomping range of someone with a metal bottomed boot, who took full advantage of Yuki's hurt position and crushed his spine. When Yuki stood to confront the attack he was knocked painfully onto the ground by Ayeka with a table weilded skillfully in her hands. As he was attempting to pull himself off the ground, Kazuka and Zakie picked him up and threw him out the window. The mob begins to dispurse with the beating done, when Yuki walks back in through the door.) Kazuka: (Grabs Yuki by the collar of his shirt) Don't you know when to stay gone, stupid?! (Before Yuki can respond, the room darkens and a feminine voice echos through the air) Voice: Harm not the one who flows with idiocy, for his blood is mine alone to spill. Yuki:(Hugs Kazuka in a deathlock and screams like a girl.) AH!!! KILLER DISEMBODIED VOICE! UNCOOL!!!! Kazuka: Agh! (Stumbles, and then falls) Ack! Get off of me! No one's going to kill you except ME! Brooke:(She looks around curiously) Could it be a demonic infestation? Ayeka:(Snickers and whispers to Ryoko.) I think she is talking about you, Miss Ryoko. Ryoko: Shut up. (Glancing about, ignoring Ayeka--for the moment.) Zakie: (He on the other hand, instead of trying to peirce the darkness with his eyes, has pulled out high tech equipment from god-knows-where and is scanning it about the room, all star trek like.) Hm..Aha! There is a high plasmatic energy interference right..over... here! ( He picks up a glass and throws it into a corner. A loud *thunk* and "Ow!" is audible, and the darkness fades, revealing in the corner a woman with blonde hair and green clothes.) Woman: Owww! What was that for?! (Rubbing her headwound furiously.) Ow ow ow! Yuki: (Points) Hey! Who are you and why are you threatening me?! Woman: You mean you don't even remember me? Yuki: Uh... ah...hm... umm.. no. Woman:(Sweatdrop) I am Nia Kanikuri! You ran over me with a car and then ran away before I could kick your ass, remember?! Yuki: Oh yeah! That was just an accident. No reason to hunt me down! Nia: You hit me 12 times! Yuki:... Things happen! Nia: -_-; In five minutes! Yuki: Look I'm sorry, alright?!  
  
Nia: IN.. A... BUILDING! Everyone else: (sweatdrop) Yuki: I said I was sorr-- woah wait a minute, can't we talk about this? Nia: (Her eyes glow white, energy forming around her in plasma sparks, palms held facing each other, power drawing into a single point that glowed brighter than a solar light would on a cloudless day.) Yuki... You...Will...Die! (Hurls the energy at him.) I've seen HELL because of you! Yuki: (He ducks under the energy attack, it would fly past and hit the wall behind him, disintigrating it.) Really? How'd you get there? Tenchi: Not the wall AGAIN! Yuki: (Takes off running through the space where the wall was like a frightened, hairless bunny, and finds a hiding spot behind a tree, Nia chasing after him, and everyone else running out for the sake of watching graphic violence. He jumps as he hears the roar of ship thrusters.) Of COURSE she would HAVE to own a warship! (He took off running as a volley of machine gun fire cut the tree he was behind in half. After a bit of this running he took refuge in the wreckage of his ship.) Nia: Damnit! You will DIE Yuki! Yuki: LOOK WHAT I FOUND! ( Drags out of the wreckage a thermal partical plasma cannon and aims it up at Nia's ship.) Nia: Don't you dare! Yuki: (With a squeeze of the trigger, a plasma beam is unleashed and hits Nia's ship, sending it crashing to the ground - Kazuka: O_O Did he just... Brooke: O_O' yeah he did. Ryoko: I wish I had THAT gun! I could decimate a certain snotty princess with it. Ayeka: Who are you calling snotty?! Ryoko: Well, you're the only snot here, soooo... - Nia: (Crying) Yuki! Do you have any idea how much that ship cost?! Yuki: Um... alot? Nia: (Jumps up and shakes Yuki) DAMN STRAIGHT!  
  
End Chaoter. 


End file.
